Being Erica

This is one of those shows I sit down and watch with my mum, and enjoy it while we giggle together at the silly things the character is faced with and then reflect back later on what happens, wishing I could do what the character does for her life.

If you haven't heard of or seen the show, it's basically about a 32 year old woman who is given the chance to go back and fix her long list of regrets, and they are usually somehow related to her relationships with men and her family/friends.

I fully believe in living with your mistakes and learning from them, and a lot of this show is about that, but sometimes I really just wish I could go back in time and re-do certain things. Like bad relationships. I would consider myself pretty lucky in that department, but the most recent relationship I was in was such a joke that I still just cannot wrap my head around how I got myself into it.

The last episode especially hit the mark, as it was all about communication; something that was severely lacking in my past escapade. It's not a mind-boggling concept, but for some people it's still hard to figure out. Not putting the blame only on one person here, but I do notice that when one person loses their ability to be open, I generally start questioning my own ability to do so as well, and then the shit hits the fan - as they say.

Oh regrets. Sure I learn from you, but you also make me super bitter.

Sexuality

Just a bunch of random posts from 'sex is not the enemy' that I agree with and wish more people in today's society would spend a little time thinking about.

The "Myth" of Female Bisexuality

Bisexual women are ‘celebrated’ by men on Facebook and in real life, while many of us find ourselves unable to truly be proud of our sexuality, finding it easier to identify as straight or gay instead. Popular culture virtually ignores us, except where sexualized images can be used to appeal to a straight male audience. In an increasingly tolerant age, bisexual women remain misunderstood, misrepresented, and disrespected by both gay and straight communities.

Re: Male Gaze

It’s interesting, isn’t it, how on most of the video porn sites there’s a “straight” or “gay” option. ”Straight” gets you porn focused on sexy women, “gay” gets you porn focused on sexy guys.

Can you spot the unspoken assumption?

I know, I know, market forces and all that, they’re assuming all their visitors are male because most of them are, but still, would it kill them to give even a token attempt at acknowledging the other half of the human race?

Slut Shaming

I am always annoyed when people shame girls and women by calling them sluts. The very premise rests on the idea that sex is something that degrades women, which is a facet of sex-negativity. In a sex-positive world, calling someone out for having sex would make as much sense as calling them out for breathing or eating.

Dr. Charlie Glickman - Slut Shaming Doesn't Sparkle

Hello again,

It feels like I haven't seen you in ages, even though you've been around here and there...Have I told you lately that you are quite arguably my favourite model?

Pucci, ss2010
A Perfect Guide

It's been said before

But WHEN my hair is long again (what do I mean again, I have not had it super long since I was fifteen/sixteen), I WILL wear it like this. When it comes to hair I am very easy going and thoroughly dislike putting product in my hair which is why much of the time it looks like bed/surfer hair. Therefore, this look is perfect.

Wang, Spring 2010

Now all you need to do is come back to me in a year and half (let's be honest, more like two) to make sure that I actually followed through on my lofty goal.

Also, I felt the need to post Elenita's latest outfit blog. Seriously, her style is great. She always looks so polished, even when she goes for a little bo-ho chic.

Elenita

Indian Summer

One thing I love about going back to school is the back to school shopping. Even though I generally do not buy that much, this fall I seem to have picked up some essential and much needed pieces. Although I feel like I spent quite a bit, when I think back on it I only purchased one super expensive item this year and that was the fantastic Silence and Noise hooded bomber jacket from UO so I really should not worry; it would have been even much worse if I had bought the We Who See field boot (alas they did not have them at the Vancouver store).

Anyway, with that said most of my shopping occurred in second hand and vintage shops which I thoroughly recommend. What better way to find some amazing clothing that no one else will have? Although, with that said, I have tons of vintage dresses that I need to alter...maybe I'll make my Friday's sewing project days.

Enough blabber, the reason I'm posting is to show off the amazing weather Victoria has been having and the opportunities I've been having to soak up some of that lovely sun (even though I've gone back to being a ghost).

Silence & Noise bomber jacket, dress by J.J. Park, vintage black suede Keds

H&M jean skirt, white peasant tee by Only

AA Floral Lace Bra & Racerback Tank, vintage Sanyo Fashion House for Saks 5th Ave pencil skirt

SmartSet tee, Staccato pinstripe sailor shorts

On a lighter note...

Karl posted this today on his Facebook, and it was so bizarre and hilarious that I felt I had to re-post it to show everyone just what they might be getting themselves into should they try to use Craigslist and similar sights without being site savvy.

The article is a guys account of how he tried to sell some of his many mint condition Care Bears that he had acquired over the years...using key words such as 'Bear', 'Bed-time', 'Love-a-lot' and 'come on down'. I hate to say it, but he should have seen it coming.

So if you're in for a laugh regarding one man's poor attempts at selling Care Bears and instead hosting a furry orgy go ahead and check out his account of the evening:

How to Accidentally Throw a Furry Orgy Using Craigslist

Autism Funding Cuts

Last week Children and Families Minister Mary Polak cut funding to Early Intensive Behavioural Intervention (EIBI) programs targeted at working with children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), saying that the $70,000 that was given to families was unfair the the other families throughout the province who received $20,000 and then went on to say that regarding the EIBI programs they were "not seeing any appreciable improvements in the outcomes for those kids".

Really? Do you live with a child with Autism? Have you had a child at the age of four sit in fits of rage lashing out at you because they cannot explain to you verbally what it is that is bothering them or because you tried to hold their hand? Have you then sat with that same child a year later who has had sessions with speech therapists, interventionists, and behavioural analysts and has begun to communicate either verbally or with picture cards and can handle physical contact? Having had a summer of working with children with ASD through Recreation Integration Victoria, kids who had been in the EIBI programs and those that had not, it's amazing to see the difference those intervention sessions provide to both the child and their families.

Now Polak is trying to take back her statement, saying that the comment was based on four-year-old research and that sure, the program has made a lot of advances, but the reason for closing down the EIBI programs has nothing to do with quality, it has to do with fairness. She nows says "this is an issue of equity and it's an issue of access".

Ok, my reaction to this is I think what she is only now trying to get at, they're trying to take the money that was directed to the EIBI program and boost the $20,000 families were getting to $22,000. Good step, but not enough. $22,000 still does not make up for the fact that many families do not even know where to begin when it comes to Autism intervention. I think that the mother of one child with ASD, Laurie Cole, says it best, "they should be equalizing in the other direction by creating more EIBI programs". If they chose to take these successful programs and begin to create more and have them in various rural and urban communities, more families will be able to benefit. How hard is it to come to that realization? I know there is stuff I'm probably missing from the ministry/application side, but come on!

Scrapped autism program was unfair: Polak

Major crush

Oh Matthew Gray Gubler, you're so adorably sexy that I would gladly help you find serial killers on TV anyday. Or as my mum would say, "let you park your slippers under my bed anytime".

Lights

I gotta say (just because she's been everywhere lately)...I don't get the hype.

Kiss with a Fist

This song/video makes me want to dance around just like her.

I want it

From over at Chris' tumblr, Terror Vision

Muse

It is true; they are huge in the UK and yet...somehow are only just catching on over here. So thank you to Stephanie Meyer and the Twilight books for automatically making girls all over the world swoon for Robert Pattinson while they listen to their newly acquired Muse CD's.

"We're the biggest band America doesn't know anything about."

If you noted a little bit of disdain, you were correct; I am a little disappointed that it took those books for people to recognize the band for the awesome musicians that they are. But at the same time, I am happy they are getting more publicity over here...

Seriously society, this is what you think is entertaining?

Michelle wrote a little while back about Tucker Max, whom I had never heard of before and honestly wish I could still say I hadn't. However, now that I have I gotta say...really?? What the fuck have we as a society come to that we promote and gobble up the various types of absurdity that he does all for his 15 minutes of fame? If you haven't heard about him I think it's worthwhile to be aware of what today's youth/teenagers/adults find funny. Below is an excerpt from a blog (The Sexist) for the Washington City Paper followed by Michelle's response:

"Of course, “where consent lies and doesn’t lie” is a consistent issue in [Tucker] Max’s work. Max’s stories succeed on orchestrating sexual conquests that are increasingly outrageous, drunk, dubiously legal, painful, objectifying, and embarrassing to his sex partners. In order to continue to one-up himself, Max intentionally pushes the line of consent—getting drunker, getting her drunker, leaving his sex partners to fend for themselves—naked—on the street, hiding his friend with an undisclosed video camera in his closet while they’re doing it. It’s not hard to think of the ultimate scenario these increasingly absurd sexcapades are inching toward—it’s, like, rape, dude."

The Rapiest Quotes From “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”

I don’t think Tucker Max is a rapist, to get that right out there. But I do think that sex can still be legally and technically consensual, and still be degrading, disrespectful, and harmful. The fact that Tucker Max has made fucking drunk girls with low self-esteem and then calling them whores and bitches afterwards, and is ADMIRED by men and women all over the fucking place, is really sickening.

I think that a less polarizing article would have been, “It’s not rape but why does that make it okay?” Because the glorification of someone who says that you shouldn’t feel bad for humiliating and degrading your sex partners because they’re probably just whores (but you fucking everyone in sight is not the same thing, because they have low self-esteem and low intellect and you’re just doing what men are biologically programmed to do) is just bad for everybody. It encourages the kind of male behaviour that leads to rape (for men, trying to fuck drunk girls who you are thinking of as unworthy of your respect or care; for women, thinking that you deserve to be treated like shit by men), and it celebrates the idea that sex should be about your ego and your reputation rather than the mutual enjoyment of both partners.

So, to sum up, he’s a disgusting human being promoting disgusting, horrifying beliefs, and people think he’s great because “at least he’s honest about it”, as if being a hateful, nasty piece of shit is both natural and unavoidable for people. Ignore the argument in the article and read the comments if you want to be really disturbed by the fans’ protests in this sociopathic frat boy’s defense.

Traveling Plans

Here I am lying awake, having just finished catching up on my Developmental and Adaptive Physical Activity readings (oooooh god), trying to decide what it is I want to do with my life post-graduation and pre-Masters school.

This is supposed to be my final year, and come hell or high water, I will make it so. I went in yesterday to see my faculties advisor (thankfully we have our own personal one instead of being stuck with the Education faculties advisor's who have no clue what we're talking about) to confirm that I am indeed on the right track. This involved looking over the new systems 'Record of Degree' bullshit which was in total disarray, which of course meant that I was panicking because this silly report was trying to say that I had two more electives to complete. No. You are incorrect internet source of my records. Incorrect.

In the end things have worked themselves out for now, I believe, with my Sociology upper electives being transferable and accepted as upper electives for my Recreation and Health major...Now I just need to check with the Soci department that I am in fact going to be getting a minor out of these past five years of school.

Anyway the purpose of this post, besides abusing the pathetic attempts of post-secondary advising to do their jobs, was to say that I'm now trying to figure out what I want to do once I finish up in July. I told Kelsey that I would come to visit her in London (it'll happen), and I also committed (3 years ago) to going down to San Francisco to celebrate a fellow travelers 21st birthday in August. On top of that, as I seriously doubt that 1 month of school before Masters is a good enough break, I think I want to tick Italy and Greece off my bucket list of places to go. BUT WHENNNNN, and how? Do I conform and join a tour package, or do I do the cities I want to do on my own?

Any suggestions friends?

Elisa Lazo de Valdez

Seriously, this woman is an amazing photographer...and I not so secretly would love to be one of her models. She's done quite a bit of work with one of my favourite comic artists, Erika Moen, which is how I found out about her. And now you should check her out too!!

She puts her models through some very interesting conditions (i.e. dirt, milk, honey, marshmellows, sea creatures) and I love how all of them turn out; very unique and quite haunting.

Photo's taken from: Visioluxus

For Kiera

Because I think she would appreciate it:)

Seriously, I would like this ensemble in my closet very very much. I'm going to wish for it to be there and tomorrow morning I'll either be very excited or realistically disappointed.

Facehunter

It's been on my mind...

Sex without smiling is as base and wrong as a vodka and tonic without ice.

Stephen Fry, from his autobiography “Moab is my Washpot”

I wish my dad felt that way too...

sex is not the enemy

Gender

sexartandpolitics: A Softer World: 478

ORLY?

Men and women want the same things from sex—closeness, pleasure, validation, a sense of adequacy. Sexually, men and women are distressed about the same things—performance anxiety, insufficient information, not feeling attractive enough, difficulties communicating honestly.

And there’s no point in understanding “men” or “women” (like such a thing is possible!), since no one has sex with “men” or “women.” We have sex with George or Maria or even both, but we don’t have sex with some abstract group of 100 million people. For better sex, learn more about the person(s) you’re with, not “men” or “women”.

When “Self-Help” is Part of the Problem | CarnalNation

I'm alive...sort of.

This really should be called 'the blog I never use'.

I promise I will update soon once my life has calmed down and I have pictures to post. You might figure since I have so much time to surf blogs I'd have time to update my own, but you'd be wrong.