feministing

At the same time as anal penetration is held up in hetero male culture as the ultimately painful/humiliating/unpleasant experience, it’s also held up as one of the premium sexual experiences any man can have - IF he’s on the penetrating end. The plethora of articles in men’s magazines and on men’s websites that instruct men on how to get their girlfriend/wife to have anal sex is staggering…

If anal penetration is the horrible, painful, humiliating thing you imagine it to be, why would you ever want a woman you love, or one you respect and to whom you’re attracted, to experience it? If it’s this horrendous experience, why, oh why, are you expending so much energy trying to inflict it on someone else? And if you expect women to be open to trying it, why continue to use it as the ultimate analogy for all things negative? Don’t you think we hear you when you talk? Don’t you think we get that you associate anal sex with pain and humiliation?

Feminist Critique of Hetero Male Culture Causes Mass MRA Hysteria

Yes, yes...plenty of guys and girls (straight/bi/gay) are fine with anal play and I do understand that when talking about negative things boys (and girls) talk about being 'fucked in the ass'; but I think what the author is getting at here folks is that by using this type of reference for describing a painful experience, essentially what we are doing is condemning the act and making it something that only queers or the sexually provocative do and through this, are saying that this type of sexual act is painful and humiliating.

I'm sure this topic has plenty of different opinions, and both sides have people that are in an uproar about it all...but really folks, the fact of the matter is that for some anal sex is painful and humiliating, for others it is erotic and the ultimate turn on.

Basically, my opinion on the matter is: if a guy wants a girl to have anal sex and she is apprehensive and worried about the matter, he should respect that and not push it (literally). If she's willing to maybe give it a try, on the condition that he does as well, then he has the option to say "yah, why not", or "no" and leave it at that. Or maybe she's willing to give it a try without that little step, but I'm personally of the mind that if it's something that he could not fathom or he himself finds a daunting prospect, then why would you want to have anal sex with your girlfriend/lover if she's probably going to have the same reaction?